Liberals in the White House want a time zone for the moon? Forget it, nerds!

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Liberals in the White House want a time zone for the moon? Forget it, nerds!
As if they haven’t already done enough to ruin America, the radical liberals in the White House have decided it’s time to ruin the moon by giving it its own time zone.

I don’t know what kind of socialist chronometric nonsense this is, but apparently in the leftist’s “everybody gets a medal” mindset, every place has to have its own dang time zone.

A recent memo from the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy (probably some kind of Antifa front) read: “Knowledge of time in distant operating regimes is fundamental to the scientific discovery, economic development, and international collaboration that form the basis of U.S. leadership in space.”

The memo explained that to an observer on the moon, “an Earth-based clock will appear to lose on average 58.7 microseconds per Earth-day with additional periodic variations.”

I don’t speak nerd, but I guess that means time moves a bit faster up in that place the government wants you to believe we had a “moon landing.”

The moon thinks it's so special that it needs its own time zone. WEAK!
The moon thinks it’s so special that it needs its own time zone. WEAK!

Lunar time zone? Please. So what if clocks on the moon are a little off?

My response is: Who cares? So your lunar clock is off a little bit, big whoop. You need to spend what would be my tax dollars (if I believed the government had the right to tax me) to make sure everyone on the moon gets their coffee breaks on time?

The memo babbled on about how “events that appear simultaneous at the Earth (e.g., the start of a broadcast signal) are not simultaneous” to an observer at the moon and how the safety “of navigation in Cislunar space also relies on a consistent definition of time among users.”

Where is my Bible: Joe Biden hasn’t targeted a judge’s daughter or sold a single Bible. What a LOSER!

I don’t know what “Cislunar” means, but I’m pretty sure my neighbors tried to get it banned from our local high school.

Regardless, you can’t tell me all these rocket-science types aren’t smart enough to tweak a thing or two in their space gizmos to account for minor time changes.

REAL America has four time zones, as God intended

Adding a whole new time zone is going to be a nightmare for normal Americans like me who think the moon is a hoax perpetrated by the CIA.

According to the memo, the White House wants NASA to call the new time zone “Coordinated Lunar Time,” which is a stupid name because “The Moon Zone” was literally right there.

In this photo courtesy of Intuitive Machines, the Odysseus lunar lander passes over the near side of the Moon following lunar orbit during the IM-1 mission on February 21, 2024.In this photo courtesy of Intuitive Machines, the Odysseus lunar lander passes over the near side of the Moon following lunar orbit during the IM-1 mission on February 21, 2024.

In this photo courtesy of Intuitive Machines, the Odysseus lunar lander passes over the near side of the Moon following lunar orbit during the IM-1 mission on February 21, 2024.

But more important, I already struggle enough with the four time zones we have in what the Marxist leftists call “the contiguous United States,” which I call “Real America.”

The last thing I need is a fifth one confusing me about what time a football game starts or when I’m supposed to file my daily blog post about how fluoridated water turned my dog into a lib.

A dog on daylight saving time: ‘I know when it’s dinner time. Stop messing with me.’

A new moon time zone will make everything more confusing

Imagine if people start living in a base on the moon and then get involved in terrestrial Zoom meetings.

“OK, let’s schedule this for 3 p.m. Central. Donna, that’s 4 p.m. out there on the East Coast. Phil, you and I are both in the Midwest, so we’re good. Sandy and Jane are out in California, so that’s 1 p.m. for them. And Bob, you’re up on the moon, what will that be, like 4:17 a.m. the previous day?”

Leave it to the liberals to make everything more complicated.

I, like many patriotic Americans, am a firm believer in traditional time zones. So just pick one, NASA. You’re not doing the moon any favors by making it feel special.

Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on X, formerly Twitter, @RexHuppke and Facebook facebook.com/RexIsAJerk

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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: A time zone on the moon? Biden’s liberal White House is going too far



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