ELMIRA, N.Y. (WETM) – Maria Raquel Dos Santos changed her life from “Victim to Victor” after experiencing trauma and a failed international adoption at a very young age.
Raquel had a traumatic childhood in Maceió, Brazil. She lost her father at 4 years old. At the age of 7, Raquel’s mother had no choice but to put her in an orphanage due to the challenges of raising her alone.
“I had fun, I built what was my family at that time because that’s what I’ve always craved, you know, so it was a fun place to be. That’s where I learned about, you know, cleanliness and education became so big for me,” said Raquel.
At the age of twelve, her mother was killed by her uncle and later adopted at the age of fourteen. She was adopted by a family in Elmira and thought her life would be like the “American Dream” she saw on TV, but instead, it was a culture shock. Raquel started to lose her identity in her adoptive parents’ home.
“When I first entered, I was told that now that you’re in America, you’re black. Like there’s no more Brazilian. You’re just like, you know, you’re nothing special. And it was kind of hard because here I am losing my culture, my country. And also myself, just for me to be able to fit into this perfect family,” she said.
Although growing up with her adoptive family wasn’t perfect, Raquel says her parents made her education a number one priority. She was homeschooled due to not knowing the American language but was able to learn in six months. She later attended Ithaca High School for 10th grade. Her parents thought it would be a great fit considering the diversity in the Ithaca community.
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“That was a little challenging, just because, you know, you’re trying to understand who you are as a teenager, and you just don’t feel like you fit in. Like I’ve been the type of person that I felt like I never fit in anywhere and with the trauma and the abuse that I suffered in my life,” Raquel continues.
At age seventeen, she moved out of her parents’ house and had to figure out life on her own, but her faith kept her standing tall through adversity.
“My relationship with God and just the fact that he knows me and that I know that he’s there to protect me because there were several and I mean several times that I was supposed to be dead, but instead I woke up, so you know him, my faith in him has always kept me going,” she said.
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Raquel is thankful for the group of people who support her through life. At the age of thirty-five, she is now a mother of three girls and has passed her practical exam for cosmetology after multiple attempts.
Now, she’s trying to support people struggling with life challenges through her book, “Victim to Victor” on Amazon, and has sold forty-nine copies since publishing.
“There’s always somebody that’s having it worse than you are. I know and here I am. If I could do it, you could do it too. Like I suffer from depression, anxiety, PTSD, ADHD, you name it, you know, so I just wanted people that are like me to understand that it’s possible to live with that and still be successful”, she says. “It’s possible to not fully believe in yourself and have fear but still go and do it. Just do it because you never know,” Raquel continues.
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